"My Thoughts Are Not Facts!"

That’s what a coaching client said he needed printed on a t-shirt after one of our sessions.

He’d realised that many of the things he told himself were:

a. Untrue - flat-out incorrect

b. Unproven - just thoughts, with no real evidence

c. Unhelpful - creating stress without adding value

Untrue and unhelpful thoughts are some of the most common saboteurs that I see in my work. They erode confidence and inflate stress levels quietly, consistently, and often go undetected.

Clients sometimes say things like:

“𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘧𝘶𝘭.”

“𝘐’𝘮 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘱𝘴.”

“𝘐’𝘷𝘦 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘭𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘺.”

“𝘐’𝘮 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘩𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥.”

“𝘐 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘥.”

"𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥/𝘭𝘢𝘻𝘺/𝘴𝘭𝘰𝘸"

These are powerful statements, but are they 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘦?

Often, they’re simply beliefs repeated so many times, that they feel factual.

What we tell ourselves matters. It influences how we show up, how we feel, how we lead, and how we relate to others.

But before you can shift the narrative, first you need to notice what you're telling yourself. Then, ask, 'Is this true? Is it helpful'?

It's not about silencing your inner voice, but noticing what it says and challenging it to be more accurate, compassionate and constructive.