Who Are 'They'?

My client 'Rick' said recently that "𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺'𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘐'𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩".

Another said, "𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺'𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘴𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘬".

'Lucy' said "𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘐'𝘮 𝘭𝘢𝘻𝘺 𝘪𝘧 𝘐'𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘱𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯".

When I asked who 'they' is, there was a pause. Then, an uncertain reference to staff, Board, or stakeholders.

Then, a wry smile, and a realisation that this conversation was never going to happen at all.

There 𝘸𝘢𝘴 no 'they.' Just thoughts about what others might say or think, internal expectations, inner judgment and drive.

These thoughts were driving them into the ground, trying to meet the imagined expectations of others, in addition to the priorities of their position.

This is an example of a classic thinking error, that has become an ingrained belief, adding to work and mental loads.

So next time you catch yourself saying "𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘢𝘺/𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬...", pause for a moment and wonder who 'they' really is, and whether this is a fact, a thought, or self-imposed expectation.

Leading yourself and others sustainably isn't just a matter of managing time, boundaries and energy, but examining your inner dialogue.