He had them at hello: The story fear couldn't see

He had them at hello

But he was telling himself another story entirely.

Steve* had courageously left a prominent global firm on his own terms.

He'd only been there a year, so when the end of employment loomed, he was worried that he'd made a terrible mistake.

"𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘫𝘰𝘣”?

Like so many people between roles, he wasn't just worried about finding a job. He was questioning his worth and extremely worried about his future.

He was not only nervous about the job search. It was the in-between. That awful stretch of time between what was and what's next, where the unknown stretches out and there’s no purpose to your days.

So that's where we started. We worked through what he was dreading, what would cause him to spiral and how to navigate the first few weeks. When fast paced purpose would give way to unstructured days.

We explored the options available to him, the job search actions to take, how to build some light structure into the weeks ahead to give him a blend of recovery, direction and action.

Two weeks later, we met again.

This time, he wasn't asking whether anyone would hire him. He was asking how to choose between offers from the likes of Microsoft, Dropbox, a start-up and an inspirational NFP.

The challenge had shifted completely. From ‘𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘮𝘦’? To ‘𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘥𝘰 𝘐 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯?’

It turns out that he had them at hello.

We laughed at the contrast between what he told himself just two weeks earlier and the incredible opportunities that arose in that short time.

It's not that his situation changed because he did anything differently. He was always exceptional, intelligent, personable and driven. The market always would have seen that quickly.

But in taking the leap that he did, fear had convinced him otherwise, fueled by the story he told himself.

If you're in an in-between phase, or on the verge of making a radical change, try not to believe everything your fear tells you.

Look for the evidence of your worth. Trust in your abilities. Get support and take action.

*name changed for confidentiality