Regular, informal feedback is one of the best ways to improve team performance.
Yet most people avoid it like the plague.
Why?
Because humans are hardwired to avoid scary situations and keep themselves safe. While not a threat to our safety, giving feedback can feel threatening to our relationships with others. Belonging, being liked, being good. All the things we were taught to be.
We typically value our workplace relationships, so even the thought that we might mess that up can make some people feel physically ill.
But deep down we know it’s important. It can be learned and it gets easier over time, I promise.
If this resonates for you, these strategies may help:
Reframe feedback from having to have a ‘difficult discussion’ to a ‘caring conversation’ because you want to help the person to grow and succeed. When done thoughtfully, it can really help someone's career.
Practice by giving specific positive feedback to a range of people first. Go further than ‘great job’ - say specifically what they did and why it mattered.
Write out and practice what you’re going to say first, so that you are very clear, and more comfortable and confident in the moment.
Make it brief and only discuss one matter at a time
Discuss the observation/issue, ask their view, explain why it matters and talk through together how it could look differently in future.
Speak from the heart in a way that feels right for you. It doesn’t need to be perfect. Good intentions go a long way.
It’s not a one-off, so don’t feel the pressure to say everything ‘just so’. Consider it as just a conversation and part of an ongoing dialogue.
If you’re not giving regular informal feedback, you’re doing yourself and your team a disservice, so give it a shot!
Have you ever been given feedback that really helped?
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