Oh, how I've had to learn this one the hard way. I'm a pretty happy camper, until...I'm not.
I have a threshold, and like most of us, when I hit it, I can lose my cool and say things I regret.
Plenty of my coaching conversations focus on this topic, with people wanting to know 'how can I keep my cool?'
The official term for this in terms of EQ is 'emotional regulation'. And it’s really important in life and leadership in order to preserve your integrity, your relationships, your reputation, your values and the trust of others.
It becomes much harder when we're under pressure, or when we feel that what we hold dear is being threatened - our sense of fairness, right and wrong, common sense, our core beliefs, relationships, our good intent, our intelligence.
What feels like fury, is often brewed from deeper feelings like shock, hurt, disbelief, loss, embarrassment, or shame.
To keep your cool, firstly, you need to value doing so. To reflect on if, and why it matters to you.
From there, one of the greatest tools is 'the power of the pause'. The micro-moment before your respond. To take a breath, buy some time, remove yourself from the moment to get perspective and be more deliberate about your response.
Emotional regulation is a valuable life and leadership muscle that can be trained.
**What's your top tip to keep your cool?**
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